Coconut Cruncher

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table – 'Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love you!' Totally bewildered by the note, he goes to the kitchen and sure enough, there's a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper waiting for him. His son is at the table, eating a bowl of cereal. "Son," he says, "what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home around 3am, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everythin...

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young blonde woman wearing a tight leather skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step. Once again, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step. About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballisti...

A mother stopped by un-announced at her son's house. She knocked on the door, then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch...totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room. "What are you doing?" she gasped. "I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work," her daughter-in-law answered. "But you're naked!" the mother-in-law squawked. "This is my love dress,' her daughter-in-law explained. "Love dress? But you're naked!" Her daughter-in-law smiled. "Mike loves me to wear this dress,' she explained. "It excites him no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me.' The mother-in-law shut her mouth abruptly and left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, and dimmed the lights. She put on a romantic CD and lay on the ...

Since when i was young, I've loved to draw and paint pictures. Most people would say I carried the genes, and some just appreciated. I've always loved art since I was a child, and come to think of it, always will. And that's why I want to be a designer. Design is not just a hobby for me. It's my passion, my fuel. It was in std.10 that I'd finally made up my mind. I wanted to make it my career because its something I'll never be bored of. I've had a mind that never sleeps. I'm always thinking about something or the other, and most of the time, I'm unrealistic. That's where design comes in. Design and art is an outlet for my thoughts. It is easy to draw when you know whar to, not how to. I've always observed the smallest of things, and appreciated the beauty of it. There are not only black and whites in design, but also the greys. When I was young I'd often get discouraged by seeing an adult's version of the image I drew. It would be so...

In a small town, a person decided to open up a brothel, which was right opposite to a church. The church & its congregation started a campaign to block the brothel from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business. Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the brothel and it was burnt to the ground. The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the brothel owner sued the church authorities on the grounds that the church through its congregation and prayers was ultimately responsible for the destruction of his brothel, either through direct or indirect actions or means. In its reply to the court, the church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection that their prayers were reasons for the act of God. As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented: 'I don't know how I'm going to decide this c...

Tillie, Maude and Gertrude were three little old ladies who met at a bench in the nearby park with their dogs every evening where they enjoyed a little bit of sun and gossip before heading home again. One day, they were sitting on the bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park. The flasher ran up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat. Gertrude immediately had a stroke. Then Maude also had a stroke. But Tillie, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.