Coconut Cruncher

August '14 She looked at me now and again. I didnt know she was goan. She was checking on me see if I was okay. She was probably well over 60, thin, dark toned with deep set eyes. She never saw a girl of my age travelling in a long distance train alone.She had never travelled out of goa herself. Her son had taken her to visit his work in Mumbai. She had lost all her teeth but one. There was one long tooth in her lower mandible. When I asked her a question in Konkani she wore a look of surprise. Most of the goans I've met outside goa wear that look. I guess I don't look goan enough. She beamed, and told me about her journey, and her son. "Bombay is not for me. It's so crowded, so dirty. Still people go there. I got sick there." Yet she went. And now she will love goa more. We passed the open fields and crossed broad clean rivers with coconut palms on both sides. We knew we've touched down goan soil. She smiled at me - "I think we've reached....

8 th May 2013 As Aakash and I rode to the theatre, we chatted about work and our personal growth. “Man, I spend about 8 hours on it. I don’t even know when it’s a weekend. I thought today was Saturday. ”  “That’s it? I easily spend 10 hours on work everyday” he said. “Well, I wouldn’t mind, it’s just that it’s a different pipeline, we’re going from pixel to vector based work, and I have to learn new softwares that I find so time consuming to learn and get accustomed to. Sometimes I feel like I’m that old senior in the studio who has a bunch of good skill sets, but the newbies have learnt to do the same thing in an hour’s time instead – and you do it great alright, but you’re slower. You could learn to use the new software by letting go of your comfort zone, but you’re too old now. I used to be that way, but I’m learning how to let go and shake my ground. It’s too early for me not to learn different methods and mediums.” I said. “Exactly. I’ve been completely shak...

9th November 2013       I approached the coconut seller and asked, "how much for one?" "30 for malai wala and 25 for paani wala" "Patli malai wale ke liye kitna?" "30 memsaab", he said.        I asked for one with the thin malai. It was delicious. The first sip from the straw, and images of coconut trees and paddy fields flashed in my mind. Narrow roads and clear skies, palms swaying in the breeze - it cut back to the straw. The water was over. I looked inside the coconut, hoping for more water. "Kahan se laate ho aap?" I asked. "Mysore se. Yaha toh koi nikaalta nahin hai pedh se. Pakh jaate hain." he said. "Aur aap kaha se ho?" "Main Allahabad se" he said, smiling. "Itni door se? Poori family yaha hai?" "Haan ji. Ek flat tha, lekin usme jagaha nahin thi, toh hum bhaade pe reh rahe hain." he said, "aap kaha se ho?" "Main Goa se hoon" I said. He smiled. "Toh a...

2nd October 2013 – Nashik It’s the second day of work at Regh animation, and it has been tough. I feel mentally exhausted and overly emotional. The small sign of home, a thought of comparison can bring a huge lump, an uncomfortable swelling in my throat. I feel my heart ache in pain, and my eyes start watering uncontrollably for no reason. I don’t feel weak, but tested, really. My heart gives up, but my mind tells me to fight and be stronger. It’s a new place, with new people. A new language and a new culture. Fitting in has never been easy, but I always end up finding the right people and getting comfortable; that – has been exceptionally difficult here. Marathi is not my forte, and whether I wear a loose Tshirt, or a spaghetti, I still have a few eyes on me. Maybe it’s my fair skin, or my ‘different’ features, but one look, and the locals know that I’m not from this part of town. My roommate Rekha is really nice. She must be about 25 and reminds me an awful lot of my old housekee...

9th April 2013 Major update!! I am now a GRADUATE!!! :D :D Since that day, my life's not been pretty. But I'm glad it's over. I'm already missing college terribly, and I thought that day would never come, but it did. Now I am home, relaxing, and trying to enjoy a much deserved break. Today I decided to turn my life around at home. I don't want these vacations to be useless and lazy, but they are proving more and more to be so. So, after reading my dear friend Krithika's wonderful letter about how she's turning things around in MIT, I decided to set some goals for myself too. Coming back home has not been easy. I feel lethargic and heavy and I have only been eating and sleeping and watching TV. I feel lonely because throughtout the week my only friend who's available (Aakash) has college on weekdays and my parents are practically never home. I miss college so much. I miss being busy already, even though I had asked nature to give me a huge br...

Found some old notes in my tiny notepad.. So just decided to post them here. :) 3rd April 2011 - Homeland Somehow there are things you notice everytime. The GA on the cars, the coconut trees, swaying at the side of the road, saying goodbye. Salty breeze while crossing the Mandovi bridge, familiar places like Cuts and Colours - where you got your hair cut everytime. The terrace of a hotel where you celebrated a birthday. You look out and kiss the land. The bus seems to make the images flash by faster, stealing you away from your homeland. the last puri tasted the best, because your dad ran back to your bus' window, knowing you'll never get a chance to relish it where you're heading, until you're back again. The last look your mum throws at you, speaking a thousand words that were left unspoken. This will always be my homeland, and I will always belong here. I tell myself now - my foster home awaits me. And I get on with my dreams.

25th Dec '11 Merry Christmas to all!!! Here in India we don't celebrate much of Christmas - unless we're christian! Being Goan does has its advantages of being part of this festival. Goa is paradise in December. It's lit, people are jolly and exchanging cakes, Bebinka, Dodol and chocolates. You see Christmas trees and cribs around you and the churches have the traditional Konkani midnight mass. Although I didn't do much this Christmas, I think it may have just been the best 2 days of Christmas I've ever celebrated. My family got together and me and my cousins made it through an impromptu plan of Shaami(my elder cousin bro - Abhinav)'s reckless driving (he's gonna kill me if he reads this), a match of beach Frisbee, swimming at Shivani-Soham's place, Rummikub and Pictionary (with Dhanu's innovate drawing skills), ghost stories at the terrace, and more swimming and eating at my place. So much that my body's been ACHING! :'( BUT here's...

I know It's been too long since I've been home when I see photos opf my mum wearing a new kurta that she now considers old. I know it's been long when I can't remember the last time I smelled that goan fresh monsoon smell. The scent of wet mud and sparkley green nature that's been washed after a year. I know it's been long when I can taste fish curry rice with the faintest smell of a curry leaf. I guess it's really been long.