Coconut Cruncher

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days. A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Sarson Ka Tel?" (Mustard OIL) The clerk says "You a Sikh?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian Olive Oil, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish? The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't." The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Sarson Ka Tel, why did you say I am Sikh?" The clerk replied, "Because you're in a Liquor Store."

29th Jan 2011 12:17 am My heart thudded as I saw it lying there on the tile, alone with an empty coffee cup. Someone had left it there, and the first thught that ran through my mind was that this was my cap. It was my lens cap coz there was nothing besides it. No camera no case no person. Ravi had said I would find it back. He said he was my lucky charm. Bullocks, I had thought. I grabbed the lenscap and my face muscles pushed into a grin. My cap. I ran down the staircase, grinning to every face I passed. I removed the phone from my pocket and dialled Ravi's number. It rang thrice. I waited. Ring ring, and then Ravi answered, "hi tell me". "RAVI!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed, "I FOUND IT, I FOUND IT!!!! MY LENS CAP!" Now he must've thought, gosh, this chic, she keeps losing and finding things. He's never seen me losing things and not finding them. "Where?" he asked, and I told him my story. "Wow! You see, I told you I'm your lucky ...

Jo Aap Kaho Ji. Husband: aaj khane mein kya banaogi? Wife: Jo aap kaho H: Dal chawal bana lo W: Abhi kal hi to khaye the H: to sabji roti bana lo W: bacche nahi khayenge H: to chhole puri bana lo W: mujhe bahut heavy lagta hai H: eggs bhurji bana lo W: aaj guruvaar hai H: paraanthe ? W: raat ko paraanthe kaun khata hai?? H: Hotel se mangwa lete hain? W: roz roz hotel ka nahi khana chahiye H: kadhi chawal? W: dahi nahi hai H: idly sambar? W: usme time lagega. pehle bolna chahiye tha na!! H: maggi hi bana lo, usme time nahi lagega W: woh koi meal thodi hai? Pet nahi bharta H: phir ab kya banaogi? W: Jo aap kaho

“Bad Luck” – screened back to back. Chapter 1: Losing It was a fine day, because it was a holiday. M.I.T Institute of Design had a bunch of crazy people who kept screening the best movies of all time, and this very day, they would screen the legendary – Star Wars. An empty pocketed girl named Nikhita limped (as fast as she could) to the projector room where the movie was to be screened. She hadn’t seen it before, and her friends Alok and Ravi had promised it would be worth the watch. The previous day her friend Tanu had lifted her on his back and Bharat Singhal – an elfish friend (in behaviour and appearance) slammed her tow on the hard floor which caused it to swell in pain. So she limped to the room and there they watched the movies. In the evening Nikhita and her friend Ravi went out for Chai at the local dhaba – kaka’s, but before that, she went to the pharmacy, to buy toe-healing medicines. From her sweatshirt she pulled out 2 notes of 50 and 500. The medicines cost her 45, so she...

At lohri: Anonymous: Hey get ur camera! Me: Eh. It's in the class. Anonymous: But your class is on this floor! Me: Yeah but it's locked.. Alok: So jump in through the window! Me: *bored face* Alok: You're ridiculous. In the comp lab: Ravi P: Hey where's the projector? Alok: Yeah it's in class. Ravi: Oh. Alok: It's locked man. Me: So jump in through the window! *Ravi n alok walking out of the lab* Alok: It's boring. Ravi: It's boring? you just have to jump in dude. Me: Mahahahaha!

14th Jan 2011 We stepped in and then ordered the food. Jahnvi - the local dhaba was going to shut down. As the food came, En gobbled spoons down like Puppa. I looked at him, then looked at the food. En had a peculiar way of eating his food. I was thinking, does this guy know what's going into his mouth? Does he taste it before swallowing? I could smell the bits of spring onions at shredded chicken in fried rice, the coconut from the chicken malabari, and the butter on the roti which Tanu was eating. Vicky looked miserable eating a bland veg pulao, that had no distinct smell. "What're you looking at?" En asked. "Oh nothing." I replied, realizing it was rude to stare at people eating. I looked around to notice that none of them really looked like they were tasting it. It was funny how my brain travelled through thoughts, changing in milliseconds. Well. I guess we were just hungry.

Man: "Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic." Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore." Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down." Man: "Your place or mine?" Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine." Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman: "It's in the phone book." Man: "But I don't know your name." Woman: "That's in the phone book too." Man: "So what do you do for a living?" Woman: "I'm a female impersonator." Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not Enter" Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone." Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I d...