Coconut Cruncher

Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship. "Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people. "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did. "Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing." And they did. "Now we eat everybody." And they did. When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?" His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the shit inside!"

Friends, Today I learnt a new phrase from The Times of India: VEXATIOUS LITIGANT. The news item on the front page reads: "A lawyer who dragged his estranged wife ... to court in a record 115 cases has been stopped in his tracks. The HC admitted the petition ... by Maharashtra advocate general Ravi Kadam to declare Kazi a vexatious litigant." (Kazi is that lawyer fellow who has been filing 115 petitions against his wife.) I want to use this phrase. I declare Sir Vinod, Sir S Halagiri, and Sir Hemant as VEXATIOUS LITIGANTSÂ against Allopathy. And I declare Sir Arun a VEXATIOUS LITIGANTÂ against sanity in general. Cheers Sanjiv Dear Sir Bhatla, Thank you for awarding me this honorary degree (V.L.). Does it also come with a cash prize? It is not easy fighting this Goliath called Allopathy that milks all Americans (even healthy ones via taxes) to the tune of over two trillion dollars every year, most of which is worse than pure waste. My problem is that the real Mr. Allop...

After so much procrastination, I have finally started with my portfolio. Who cares if my layout sucks now, I just hope they judge me by my work. :( It's so hard to pick the best and compile it all. Hoping the time invested will be worth it.

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days. A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Sarson Ka Tel?" (Mustard OIL) The clerk says "You a Sikh?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian Olive Oil, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish? The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't." The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Sarson Ka Tel, why did you say I am Sikh?" The clerk replied, "Because you're in a Liquor Store."

29th Jan 2011 12:17 am My heart thudded as I saw it lying there on the tile, alone with an empty coffee cup. Someone had left it there, and the first thught that ran through my mind was that this was my cap. It was my lens cap coz there was nothing besides it. No camera no case no person. Ravi had said I would find it back. He said he was my lucky charm. Bullocks, I had thought. I grabbed the lenscap and my face muscles pushed into a grin. My cap. I ran down the staircase, grinning to every face I passed. I removed the phone from my pocket and dialled Ravi's number. It rang thrice. I waited. Ring ring, and then Ravi answered, "hi tell me". "RAVI!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed, "I FOUND IT, I FOUND IT!!!! MY LENS CAP!" Now he must've thought, gosh, this chic, she keeps losing and finding things. He's never seen me losing things and not finding them. "Where?" he asked, and I told him my story. "Wow! You see, I told you I'm your lucky ...

Jo Aap Kaho Ji. Husband: aaj khane mein kya banaogi? Wife: Jo aap kaho H: Dal chawal bana lo W: Abhi kal hi to khaye the H: to sabji roti bana lo W: bacche nahi khayenge H: to chhole puri bana lo W: mujhe bahut heavy lagta hai H: eggs bhurji bana lo W: aaj guruvaar hai H: paraanthe ? W: raat ko paraanthe kaun khata hai?? H: Hotel se mangwa lete hain? W: roz roz hotel ka nahi khana chahiye H: kadhi chawal? W: dahi nahi hai H: idly sambar? W: usme time lagega. pehle bolna chahiye tha na!! H: maggi hi bana lo, usme time nahi lagega W: woh koi meal thodi hai? Pet nahi bharta H: phir ab kya banaogi? W: Jo aap kaho

“Bad Luck” – screened back to back. Chapter 1: Losing It was a fine day, because it was a holiday. M.I.T Institute of Design had a bunch of crazy people who kept screening the best movies of all time, and this very day, they would screen the legendary – Star Wars. An empty pocketed girl named Nikhita limped (as fast as she could) to the projector room where the movie was to be screened. She hadn’t seen it before, and her friends Alok and Ravi had promised it would be worth the watch. The previous day her friend Tanu had lifted her on his back and Bharat Singhal – an elfish friend (in behaviour and appearance) slammed her tow on the hard floor which caused it to swell in pain. So she limped to the room and there they watched the movies. In the evening Nikhita and her friend Ravi went out for Chai at the local dhaba – kaka’s, but before that, she went to the pharmacy, to buy toe-healing medicines. From her sweatshirt she pulled out 2 notes of 50 and 500. The medicines cost her 45, so she...