(J) Stupid Questions!

Stupid Questions with Witty answers!!

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
SQ: Hey, what are you doing here?
WA: Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
SQ: Sorry, did that hurt?
WA: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
SQ: Why, why him, of all people.
WA: Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
SQ: Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
WA: No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
SQ: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
WA: Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
SQ: Is the guy you're marrying good?
WA: No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
SQ: Sorry. were you sleeping?
WA: No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
SQ: Hey have you had a haircut?
WA: No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
SQ: Tell me if it hurts?
WA: No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
SQ: Oh, so you smoke.
WA: Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!

Comments

Be the change you want to see.

18th April 2016 Arvind and I recently read about the 19 year old who is solving the world’s ocean pollution crisis. Boyan Slat is a Dutch engineering student single handedly developing the gyers (floating booms and processing platforms) which would potentially clean up 20 billion tonnes of plastic from the world's oceans; the plastic which kills millions of animals and damages thousands of cargo vessels every year. Arvind stressed on the fact that he was 19 – he was exceptionally impressed by a kid who showed that much drive, determination and hard work at such a young age. For me, regardless of his age, this was so commendable. The age didn’t matter to me, infact I disagreed with Arvind, and mentioned how adults have it harder to do something for the greater good. Not only are they in a pathetic zone (they have full time jobs!), they also have responsibilities towards their families and are less imaginative and courageous than the youth since they are aware of the hindrances li...

The Coconut Seller

9th November 2013 I approached the coconut seller and asked, "how much for one?" "30 for malai wala and 25 for paani wala" "Patli malai wale ke liye kitna?" "30 memsaab", he said. I asked for one with the thin malai. It was delicious. The first sip from the straw, and images of coconut trees and paddy fields flashed in my mind. Narrow roads and clear skies, palms swaying in the breeze - it cut back to the straw. The water was over. I looked inside the coconut, hoping for more water. "Kahan se laate ho aap?" I asked. "Mysore se. Yaha toh koi nikaalta nahin hai pedh se. Pakh jaate hain." he said. "Aur aap kaha se ho?" "Main Allahabad se" he said, smiling. "Itni door se? Poori family yaha hai?" "Haan ji. Ek flat tha, lekin usme jagaha nahin thi, toh hum bhaade pe reh rahe hain." he said, "aap kaha se ho?" "Main Goa se hoon" I said. He smiled. "Toh a...

Messed up 48 hours.

28th June 2013 So I've had a terrible 3 days here. I realised my Sc. 5 was accidentally missing from my Film Folder, and when it hit me that my last backup was a March backup that had 2 months of work done after that, I was feeling absolutely broken-hearted. I didn't know if it was worth continuing this film. I was drowning in sorrow at the thought of having to do all that work again. I googled it, got a few recovery softwares that mostly hung and some showed some files I wasn't looking for. I called a good friend who suggested two good data-recovery softwares. 'Wondershare', the best one I'd tried took 12 hours to scan my PC for all the files that were deleted from my Recycle bin. It didn't have it. At 3 am I decided to give up. It was gone. I tried to get over it and move on as quickly as possible. I could not afford to give up now. It would be like dropping out of college in your final year. I was on the verge of finishing the film, and would probabl...

Coconut Cruncher

Search This Blog