Skip to main content

(J) The Taxman Cometh‏

At the end of the tax year, the tax office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue.

While he was checking the books he turned to the rabbi and said, 'I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?'

'Good question,' noted the rabbi. 'We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.'

'Oh,' replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer.

But on he went, in his obnoxious way. 'What about all these bread-wafer purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?'

'Ah, yes,' replied the rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question.

'We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send us a free box of bread-wafers.'

'I see,' replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all rabbi.


'Well, rabbi,' he went on, 'What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?'

'Here, too, we do not waste,' answered the rabbi. 'What we do is save all the foreskins and send them to the tax office, and about once a year they send us a complete dickhead.'

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Be the change you want to see.

18th April 2016 Arvind and I recently read about the 19 year old who is solving the world’s ocean pollution crisis. Boyan Slat is a Dutch engineering student single handedly developing the gyers (floating booms and processing platforms) which would potentially clean up 20 billion tonnes of plastic from the world's oceans; the plastic which kills millions of animals and damages thousands of cargo vessels every year. Arvind stressed on the fact that he was 19 – he was exceptionally impressed by a kid who showed that much drive, determination and hard work at such a young age. For me, regardless of his age, this was so commendable. The age didn’t matter to me, infact I disagreed with Arvind, and mentioned how adults have it harder to do something for the greater good. Not only are they in a pathetic zone (they have full time jobs!), they also have responsibilities towards their families and are less imaginative and courageous than the youth since they are aware of the hindrances li...

The Coconut Seller

9th November 2013       I approached the coconut seller and asked, "how much for one?" "30 for malai wala and 25 for paani wala" "Patli malai wale ke liye kitna?" "30 memsaab", he said.        I asked for one with the thin malai. It was delicious. The first sip from the straw, and images of coconut trees and paddy fields flashed in my mind. Narrow roads and clear skies, palms swaying in the breeze - it cut back to the straw. The water was over. I looked inside the coconut, hoping for more water. "Kahan se laate ho aap?" I asked. "Mysore se. Yaha toh koi nikaalta nahin hai pedh se. Pakh jaate hain." he said. "Aur aap kaha se ho?" "Main Allahabad se" he said, smiling. "Itni door se? Poori family yaha hai?" "Haan ji. Ek flat tha, lekin usme jagaha nahin thi, toh hum bhaade pe reh rahe hain." he said, "aap kaha se ho?" "Main Goa se hoon" I said. He smiled. "Toh a...

La La Land Review

23rd Jan 2016 I watched La La Land today.  I’m not really one for musicals, but the story completely overpowered the ‘genre’ of the film. The trailer didn’t excite me much, but I was curious to know why it won SO many Golden Globes, and besides – it was directed and written by Damien Chazelle, the same man who made ‘Whiplash’; another film I was awed by.  I still have first-screening frenzy, but I’ll try to look at this as clearly as I can. This was not just a musical. It is an honest and heartfelt film about dreamers; a subject which is very relatable to us all. Emma and Ryan are so cute and charismatic, and it’s lovely to see how their ambitions unfold and how one makes the other push forward and become someone more. I don’t think it’s a love story, but a story about the honesty and drive with which the characters dream. However you do root for the two of them, and the love story is beautiful to watch at parallel. I was left speechless choked up by the end....