Coconut Cruncher

Truism? A young Arab asks his father: What is this weird hat that we are wearing ? It's a "chechia" because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun ! And what is this type of clothing that we are wearing ? It's a "djbellah" because in the desert it is very hot and it protects your body ! And what are these ugly shoes that we have on our feet ? These are "babouches", which keep us from burning our feet when in the desert ! Tell me, papa... Yes, my son ? ... Why are we living in Vancouver and still wearing all this shit ?

In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire. A drunkard with ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position. The director of the factory wondered how to send him away. They tested him. They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said, "It’s red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers." "That’s correct", said the boss. Another glass. "It’s red wine , cabernet, eight years old, a southwestern slope, oak barrels." "Correct." The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary to suggest something. She brought in a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it. "It’s a blonde, 26 years old, pregnant in the third month. And if you don’t give me the job, I’ll tell who’s the father!"

It's the 9th day of claymation. Pressure from all sides. Backlog, jury, 2D project, portfolio, lack of assistance or support from faculty, and to top it all, lack of time to have a second go and a test that went wrong. It's not like I'm losing interest.. More like I'm losing patience. I dunno if I would really like to animate in claymation. But that's with everything I do. I don't like animating something unless it comes right. 2D seems SO much easier now that I've done claymation I realise I can undo in animation. I can trace the previous frame, hold it, change the lighting, sharpen a line, it's all so much easier. Phew. Claymation ki jai ho! Vaibhav, I bow down to your talents. Have no idea how claymation studios - esp. studios like Aardman do it. They must be really patient people. The camera man is boring, but you have to pay good attention to the minute details - cracks in the clay, armatures being seen, shadows cast or moved. Overall the team has t...

I have always wondered why I've never come across any great disney female animators on their movie's credits. It always pissed me off that we, women, never made it up there. I had to find out why. After doing some research and finding some treasure too, I found out that disney didn't even take women in their learning programs. When female animators asked why, disney didn't answer, but said instead, that women were to do only the manual work (told to be done on a daily basis) of inking and cell-painting. Okay, those times were different, women weren't given previliges, blah blah. What about now? After more digging I realized men have a goal and they run for it. For fame, for money, or to feed their families. Women, on the other hand, have goals, have dreams, and run for them - until their man provides them with kids, which they solely take responsibility for over their professions. And why is this? Because they are lazy? Because they lack creativity or intelligence? ...

HOW TO IDENTIFY DIFFERENT CITIZENS OF INDIA Scenario 1 Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on. That's MUMBAI *** Scenario 2 Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out and call their friends on their mobiles. Now 50 guys are fighting. You are definitely in PUNJAB !!! *** Scenario 3 Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along and tries to make peace. The first two get together and beat him up. That's DELHI *** Scenario 4 Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly opens a Chai-stall. That's AHMEDABAD *** Scenario 5 Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes. He writes a software program to stop the fight. But the fight doesn't stop because of a virus in the program. That's BANGALORE *** Scenario 6 Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly says that "AMMA" doesn't like all this nonsense. Peace settles in... That's CHENNAI *** Scenar...

Even I salute this internet joke. It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up:?'Patrick Henry, 1775'he said. 'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'' Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar. The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do.' She heard a loud whisper: 'F___ the Indians,' 'Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.' At that point, a student in the back said, 'I...

Step off the curb and jump on the bike Are we going for a ride or going for a hike? The breeze is good, and the sun is warm Let us embrace till the winter comes. My 20 year old vehicle, needs a kick start Jump on the seat, I'm up for a ride. Here we go, the cows block the road, a car honks from behind my back, I ride on, I ride on, I ride on. Flicks of hair brush my face, the wind blows a hurricane of particles in my eyes, it blocks my sight, but I ride on. He paints his walls and measures how tall the plants grew in that old goan backyard Touristswalk in semi-nude fabrics, I swallow in a visually colourful sighting of bags and shorts hanging on racks Non-localites selling stacks. I ride on, this summer is sweet. I halt, she talks to me in local tongue Talkative me, I suddenly see. Did I miss the Konkani, Did English serve sufficiantly? I sing this song, I'm on the bike The vehicle rattles on potholes deep The greedy greedy government's greed, But I ride on, ride on, I ride...