At a trial in a small Southern town in the US, the prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.
He approached her and asked pompously, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was speechless. He squeaked out something and then, not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defence attorney turned beetroot red and tried to shrink into himself. He opened his mouth to speak, but the judge called out and asked both counsellors to approach the bench.
He approached her and asked pompously, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was speechless. He squeaked out something and then, not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defence attorney turned beetroot red and tried to shrink into himself. He opened his mouth to speak, but the judge called out and asked both counsellors to approach the bench.
Once the two had stumbled over, he looked frantically at them and whispered, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, you're both going to the electric chair."
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