It was one of those conversations that could never finish off. Sid was highly entertaining. He defined a good relationship. One which communicates, gives space, and understands. But this couldn't be said in just these 3 words. He had to prove what he meant to me, and I patiently listened.
"There's your race, and my race." He started.
"Of course you guys think we're perverts, and sure, we ARE! We have the damn testosterone running in our bodies all the time! But sex is not all we think of! If that was the case, we would be in those strip clubs throughout our lives!" Sid justified.
He shook his hands vigorously while he spoke, and paced to and fro the pavement in impatience, pointing at himself, pointing at an imaginary girl next to him. If this conversation was muted, it would still be just as entertaining! Watching Sid frustrated gave me inexplicable joy and entertainment.
"Look - my girlfriend/wife should be the one I can freely tell anything to. If I'm hanging out with my buds in a strip club, I should be able to tell her. Right? But no! How would your race react to that? 'Hey honey...I'm in a strip club with my buds.'"
"DUDE!" I yelled, "WTH are you doing there??!! How sick is that! I can't believe you!!" I role played.
"EXACTLY!!" he yelled on the road."AND! If we DON'T tell you guys - and you find out later,"
"OMG!! I can't believe this! YOU LIED TO ME??!! Why didn't you tell me in the FIRST place?!!" I role played again.
"YEAH!! See??! This is your race! Maddening! You women! So COMPLEX!" he cried. "You guys are the most screwed up race I tell you."
I pondered. Yes, we were complex. "But you guys aint any better dude! How can we trust that you weren't hooking up with some random girl after getting drunk?"
"Nikki! Trust our race man! This is all the bullshit that people shove in about us! Its all a huge miscommunication between these races! In the end, we get screwed both ways! Now if you're gonna get screwed either way, you might as well have a blast there and come back and explain yourself to her. Problem is - she won't listen!"
Wow, Sid, are you married?// I thought.
"Look, we guys pick intelligence in you girls any day over how you look! Or the fact that you aren't like the other girls! Atleast when it comes to me, she should give me my space" he said.
"I know, I know, Sid," I said, after bursting into laughter.
"You know what you girls do?"
I allowed him to give me a piece of his mind.
"They use you as a shoulder to cry on, man, and all along, you don't GET it! Guys like me? Nice guys? Dude - they're like on the top of the list of the guys to get screwed over.
You order a double cheese pizza. They wouldn't say a word while you're ordering it, and then when its under your nose, they go -
'NO! That pizza is so full of cheese!'
'BUT-!'
'You can't eat that! Either the pizza goes, or I go!'
'Okay, the pizza goes....But I'm going WITH IT!'" he said, stomping off in the left direction.
"Siiid..." I cried, gasping for breathe. His entire performance was entertaining. I clapped in appreciation and affection.
"This entire relationship between a guy and a girl is poisoned and screwed up by society! Society tells the girl that the guy is a perv, and society tells the girl that if he's in a strip club, he's out with a girl named Candice! And can I blame her? NO! I cannot! Who gets screwed in the end? US!"
Poor Sid. People came and people went, and we stood there at the open irony. If the genders did not get one another, how did I get him now? Miscommunications..Friends passed by on their bikes and yelled a 'hi' to us on the sidewalk.
He didn't stop until his mom yelled from across the road. I started my bike, and we said goodbye. I totally understood him.
But what were the odds of a girl getting him?
Fall, coconut.
"There's your race, and my race." He started.
"Of course you guys think we're perverts, and sure, we ARE! We have the damn testosterone running in our bodies all the time! But sex is not all we think of! If that was the case, we would be in those strip clubs throughout our lives!" Sid justified.
He shook his hands vigorously while he spoke, and paced to and fro the pavement in impatience, pointing at himself, pointing at an imaginary girl next to him. If this conversation was muted, it would still be just as entertaining! Watching Sid frustrated gave me inexplicable joy and entertainment.
"Look - my girlfriend/wife should be the one I can freely tell anything to. If I'm hanging out with my buds in a strip club, I should be able to tell her. Right? But no! How would your race react to that? 'Hey honey...I'm in a strip club with my buds.'"
"DUDE!" I yelled, "WTH are you doing there??!! How sick is that! I can't believe you!!" I role played.
"EXACTLY!!" he yelled on the road."AND! If we DON'T tell you guys - and you find out later,"
"OMG!! I can't believe this! YOU LIED TO ME??!! Why didn't you tell me in the FIRST place?!!" I role played again.
"YEAH!! See??! This is your race! Maddening! You women! So COMPLEX!" he cried. "You guys are the most screwed up race I tell you."
I pondered. Yes, we were complex. "But you guys aint any better dude! How can we trust that you weren't hooking up with some random girl after getting drunk?"
"Nikki! Trust our race man! This is all the bullshit that people shove in about us! Its all a huge miscommunication between these races! In the end, we get screwed both ways! Now if you're gonna get screwed either way, you might as well have a blast there and come back and explain yourself to her. Problem is - she won't listen!"
Wow, Sid, are you married?// I thought.
"Look, we guys pick intelligence in you girls any day over how you look! Or the fact that you aren't like the other girls! Atleast when it comes to me, she should give me my space" he said.
"I know, I know, Sid," I said, after bursting into laughter.
"You know what you girls do?"
I allowed him to give me a piece of his mind.
"They use you as a shoulder to cry on, man, and all along, you don't GET it! Guys like me? Nice guys? Dude - they're like on the top of the list of the guys to get screwed over.
You order a double cheese pizza. They wouldn't say a word while you're ordering it, and then when its under your nose, they go -
'NO! That pizza is so full of cheese!'
'BUT-!'
'You can't eat that! Either the pizza goes, or I go!'
'Okay, the pizza goes....But I'm going WITH IT!'" he said, stomping off in the left direction.
"Siiid..." I cried, gasping for breathe. His entire performance was entertaining. I clapped in appreciation and affection.
"This entire relationship between a guy and a girl is poisoned and screwed up by society! Society tells the girl that the guy is a perv, and society tells the girl that if he's in a strip club, he's out with a girl named Candice! And can I blame her? NO! I cannot! Who gets screwed in the end? US!"
Poor Sid. People came and people went, and we stood there at the open irony. If the genders did not get one another, how did I get him now? Miscommunications..Friends passed by on their bikes and yelled a 'hi' to us on the sidewalk.
He didn't stop until his mom yelled from across the road. I started my bike, and we said goodbye. I totally understood him.
But what were the odds of a girl getting him?
Fall, coconut.
Comments