Skip to main content

The Divorce Letter

The Divorce Letter !

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone..

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your EX-Wife
________________________________________________

Dear Ex-Wife,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I Had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Journalling!

I've heard that journalling is a nice way to keep a record of one's experiences so that we can later recall, learn and introspect, and that's it's also a form of meditation where we can clear our minds before heading to bed. I have a horrible habit of starting things and never finishing them; the list of these things is so long that I don't even know where to begin. Journalling is one of them. It's a habit I want to cultivate for myself and see if it provides enrichment to my life in any way. I also have a horrible memory, so this way I can always refer back to the thoughts and ideas floating in my brain and dump them out here to make it the world's problem :P Since I don't have a lot of followers I welcome you all to unfollow if I get too boring. Making this public is an easy way for me to stick to it and be consistent. So let me start off by talking about how my day/week has been. Since the beginning of the lockdown in India because of Covid19, my ro...

The Circle Review

27th July 2017 When I saw the trailer for Circle something like a year ago, it seemed pretty interesting, something similar on the lines of Black Mirror. As the film progressed I only noticed how bad the writing, direction and acting was (despite the renowned cast). There was an obvious, in your face message of the dangers of a world surrounded by surveillance and a lack of ‘privacy’ in a futuristic digital world. The main character Mae’s decisions are so contradictory to her established personality, she feels very superficial and unrelatable. Her actions seem to be without motive or any prior driving force.   The very apparent difference between a series like Black Mirror and a film like Circle, is that the former allows room for question of ethics and basic human rights. It provokes deep thought and discussion. I guess they intended to present a larger-than-life social commentary on the ‘dangers of technology’ but instead leave you absolutely disappointed with...

(J) Deadly Liners

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else? Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday Waiter: Would you like your coffee black? Customer: What other colors do you have? Manager: Sorry, but i can't give you a job. I don't need much help. Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You will see, I won't be of much help anyway!! Dad: Son, what do you want for your birthday? Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it. Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager! Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either. Diner: You'll drive me to my grave! Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you? Husband: You know, wife, our son got his brain from me. Wife: I think he did, I still got mine with me! Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden! Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it. Father: Your...