Skip to main content

(J) Johnny to IIM

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of
her students.
The teacher asked, "Johnny, what is your problem?"

Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!"

Ms Neelam had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office. While Johnny
waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what
the situation was.

The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the Johnny a test and if he failed
to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and
behave. She agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained
to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Johnny: "9".

Principal! : "What is 6 x 6?"

Johnny: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Johnny
can go to the third-grade. "

Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I
ask him?"

The principal and Johnny, both agree.

Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

Johnny: after a moment "Legs."

Ms Neelam:

"What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Johnny: "Pockets."

Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Johnny: Coconut

Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?

The principals eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Johnny was taking charge.

Johnny: Bubblegum

Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a
dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer...

Johnny: Shake hands

Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?

Johnny: Yep.

Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do.

Johnny: Tent

Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The
best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala
Vodka peg.

Johnny: Wedding Ring

Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, you feel good.

Johnny: Nose

Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Johnny: Arrow

Ms Neelam: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of
heat and excitement?

Johnny: Firetruck

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it
u have to use your hand.

Johnny: Fork

Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men
than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife
after they're married?

Johnny: SURNAME

Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of
veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?

Johnny: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

"Send this Johnny to IIM Ahmedabad, I got the last ten questions wrong
myself!"

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Late Nights and stress-laughter

Yaaaayyyy!!! People I found it!! I'm so glad this wasn't corrupted in my pen drive! Hope you guys enjoy the read, and moreover, the ficticious memories! :) 24/ May/ 09 Chi looked at the computer while transferring her pictures to the pen drive. She had the expression one would have when they saw a picture of their dog after long. However, it was obviously misinterpreted by me. She was actually disgusted with the way Ranka sang. It was a pity that he sat next to her while he listened to his music. She had to listen his besura voice. Often she’d come along complaining. And the hours of stress and prolonged exposure to the computer screen made us go out for walks or to drink some water. One of those days, Chi turned left and slapped Ranka right across the face. He looked right, and asked stupidly – “What?” She raged with the utmost disgust and self-pity. “Your voice sounds like a rat being killed.” “So?” he asked. She didn’t know how else to make him stop. They were the nights I’d...

Journalling!

I've heard that journalling is a nice way to keep a record of one's experiences so that we can later recall, learn and introspect, and that's it's also a form of meditation where we can clear our minds before heading to bed. I have a horrible habit of starting things and never finishing them; the list of these things is so long that I don't even know where to begin. Journalling is one of them. It's a habit I want to cultivate for myself and see if it provides enrichment to my life in any way. I also have a horrible memory, so this way I can always refer back to the thoughts and ideas floating in my brain and dump them out here to make it the world's problem :P Since I don't have a lot of followers I welcome you all to unfollow if I get too boring. Making this public is an easy way for me to stick to it and be consistent. So let me start off by talking about how my day/week has been. Since the beginning of the lockdown in India because of Covid19, my ro...

(J) Deadly Liners

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else? Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday Waiter: Would you like your coffee black? Customer: What other colors do you have? Manager: Sorry, but i can't give you a job. I don't need much help. Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You will see, I won't be of much help anyway!! Dad: Son, what do you want for your birthday? Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it. Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager! Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either. Diner: You'll drive me to my grave! Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you? Husband: You know, wife, our son got his brain from me. Wife: I think he did, I still got mine with me! Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden! Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it. Father: Your...