A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of
her students.
The teacher asked, "Johnny, what is your problem?"
Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!"
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office. While Johnny
waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what
the situation was.
The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the Johnny a test and if he failed
to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and
behave. She agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained
to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Johnny: "9".
Principal! : "What is 6 x 6?"
Johnny: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Johnny
can go to the third-grade. "
Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I
ask him?"
The principal and Johnny, both agree.
Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Johnny: after a moment "Legs."
Ms Neelam:
"What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Johnny: "Pockets."
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Johnny: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
The principals eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Johnny was taking charge.
Johnny: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a
dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer...
Johnny: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Johnny: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do.
Johnny: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The
best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large
Vodka peg.
Johnny: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, you feel good.
Johnny: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Johnny: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of
heat and excitement?
Johnny: Firetruck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it
u have to use your hand.
Johnny: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men
than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife
after they're married?
Johnny: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of
veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?
Johnny: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
"Send this Johnny to IIM Ahmedabad, I got the last ten questions wrong
myself!"
21st July 2013 I had saved Steve Levitan’s writeup here as a word file on my desktop. I’m a seriously moody reader, but today I finally read it, and I felt that it was so awesome to read such fresh juicy stuff! Modern Family is one of my favourite sitcoms, and I had to give it a shot. At the bottom there was a link and t led to this page, so I ended up reading quite a few ‘Why we write’ and I decided ‘Hey, I can do this too. If anyone would give me a read!’ The earliest I remember (there must’ve been earlier instances) being was introduced to writing was in 7 th grade. We had to write comprehensions that we were graded on in English literature. I was decent with grammar, but I was terrible at writing. Atleast that’s what I thought and what my marks told me. They focused too much on spellings and length too, which turned me off from writing whole-heartedly. For obvious reasons, it never occurred to me that I could ever write professionally. Art, on the ot...
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