Coconut Cruncher

One day while jogging, a man noticed two tennis balls lying by the side of the road. He picked the balls up, put them in his pocket and proceeded on his way. Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blonde standing next to him and smiling. "What are those big bulges in your running shorts?" she asked. "Tennis balls," answered the man, smiling back. "Wow," said the blonde, looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable."

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to hot coffee. When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and were eyeing each other's cups. Now if life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hol

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A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant. Scared, she confides this ' news' to her mother. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature And distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the Girl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the Problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family Situation, but I'll take responsibility. If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a town house, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account. If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarri

How to I start? Okay, I'll intro Sir. Dhiraj.. Sir. Dhiraj is my economics professor at college.. He's a really really nice teacher! He's really good with students and he's great at teaching eco - that's IF you listen to what he says.. The only problem is, everyone takes advantage of his sweetness. Sir. Dhiraj will give you attendance when you need it, he will cover for you or stand up for you, even if he gets blamed for everything, and he'll let you talk quietly or even use your cellphone when it's banned in college. Today there was this big fight between Miss. Sumedha Kamat, the Konkani teacher and Sir. Dhiraj.. Actually the matter was - These too guys named Hassler and Abhishek were making so much noise in her class, she told them to shut up if they don't wanna pay attention, or get out of her class and that she'd give them attendence. So they did! And now she denies that she told them that she'd give them attendance! The witnesses? - whole

Once a lady wearing a saree boarded a bus. The conductor gave her a ticket of Rs 4. Next day she wore a mini skirt, she got a ticket of Rs 2. Next day she didn't need to buy a ticket! why? Scroll down for the answer..... What were you thinking of, you dirty mind She had a bus pass.

A woman and her son were taking a cab in New York. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings. "Mom,"said the little boy, "what are all those women doing?" "They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied. The cabbie turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? They 're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money." The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true, Mom?" His mother, glaring hard at the cabbie, answers in the affirmative. After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mom, what happens to the babies those women have?" "Most of them become cab drivers," she said.

A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid," answers the woman. "We don't have a maid," says the man. The woman says, "I was hired this morning by the woman of the house." The man says, "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" The woman replies, "She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband." The guy is fuming and says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make 50,000?" The maid asks, "What will I have to do?" The man tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the Bitch and the jerk she's with." The maid puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots. The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?" The man says, "Throw them in the swimming pool." Puzzled, the maid answers, "But you don't have a pool." A long pau