Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from March, 2007

Trivia - This Will Shock You!!!

This Will Shock You!!!.....9-11 Trivia This is actually really freaky!! (mainly the end part, but read it all first) 1) New York City has 11 letters 2) Afghanistan has 11 letters. 3) Ramsin Yuseb (The terrorist who threatened to destr oy the Twin Towers in 1993) has 11 letters. 4) George W Bush has 11 letters. This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets more interesting: 1) New York is the 11th state. 2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number 11. 3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11 4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers , was carrying 65 passengers. 6+5 = 11 5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 + 1+ 1 = 11 6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number 911. 9 + 1 + 1 = 11 Sheer coincidence..?! Read on and make up your o wn mind: 1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254

If only men would listen....

Man driving down road. Woman driving up same road. They pass each other. Woman yells out window, "PIG!" Man yells back out window, "BITCH!" Man rounds next curve. Man crashes into HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies. Thought for The Day: If only men would listen....

(J) TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!! DO READ!!!!!!!!

These are actual 'Bride Wanted' ads taken from matrimony site shaadi.com . Do you think any would be suitable for me? Pls shortlist. Do NOT ....................................................................................................................................................................................................... Hello To Viewers My Name is Shekhar , I am single i don't have female, If anyone want to Marie to me u can visit to my home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u welcome to my heart...when ever u want to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter... Thanks yours Regards Shekhar (Hmm...I've never been to Bangalroe. Where is it?) ................................................................................................................................................................................................... i want very simple girl. from brahmin educated family from orissa

Educate yourself!

Hey guys n gals, we all should know this and shudnt be a victim of rumours such as the "pani puri" thing.... ----ANIKET---- This is really good in puttin to rest al d rumours recently about AIDS.... PLz read this mail even if u think u kno a lot about AIDS... Nikhil Hi, This mail has been written by Mayank who works in Ranbaxy. So go through it and know about the actual causes of HIV(AIDS). The purpose of sending this mail to U is to be aware of the nonsense stuff from the net, don't panic if you find a Needle in the Theatre or some threatening note of infection. Dear Friends!!! Its good to be well informed about HIV. There was a story on junk some days back where it is said that a boy got infected by HIV virus by eating pani-puri. And there have also been rumors where people are affected by the HIV virus when they got pricked by an HIV infected needle in theaters which is rubbish. So read along! RANBAXY.... I have seen this below mentioned mail floating across group emai

The Broken Pot

The Broken Pot A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck to fetch water from the stream. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. But at the end of the long walk from the stream to the water bearer's house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots water to his house. Of course, the intact pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection. And miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been created to do. After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "Water bearer, I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to

Try to solve this problem!

Hey, Try to solve this problem....... Don't give it up so easily. Best of Luck .............. IF 1 = 5 2 = 25 3 = 125 4 = 625 5 = ? Think....... Scroll down for Answer * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Answer is 1 Are you thinking too much? Going off the track? Do not keep forgetting the history! Remember the first line? 1=5? THE MORAL IS .......... Don't complicate simple problems.... :-) :-) :-)

13 signs of Falling in Love

***13 signs of falling in love*** 13. When you’re on the phone with them late at night and they hang Up... but you miss them already when it was just two minutes ago that u spoke to them... 12. You read her/his text messages over and over again... 11. You walk really slowly when you're with her/him... 10. You feel shy whenever you're with them... 9. When you think about them, your heart beats faster and faster... 8. You smile when you hear her/his voice... 7. When you look at her, you can't see the other people around You... All you see is him/her... 6. Seeing him/her sad makes u feel sad... 5. They become ALL you think about... 4. However much time u spend of them...it never is enough... 3. You realize that you're always smiling to yourself when you think About her/him... 2. You would do anything for them... 1. While reading t

Men Vs. Women's English!!

WOMEN'S ENGLISH Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No We need = I want I am sorry = You'll be sorry We need to talk = You're in trouble Sure, go ahead = You better not Do what you want = You'll pay for this later I am not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! You're very attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? MEN'S ENGLISH I am hungry = I am hungry I am sleepy = I am sleepy I am tired = I am tired Nice dress = Nice cleavage! I love you = Let's have sex now I am bored = Do you want to have sex? May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

Stand up for God

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty m

Vocab

The person who invented this sentence is either a Vocabulary GENIUS or is absolutely JOBLESS . Why? You'll soon find out!!! Read the sentence below carefully... "I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes intercommunications incomprehensibleness". This is a sentence where the nth word is n letters long. e.g. 3rd word is 3 letters long, 8th word is 8 letters long and so on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Race

It was a sports stadium. Eight Children were standing on the track to participate in the running event. * Ready! * Steady! * Bang!!! With the sound of Toy pistol, all eight girls started running. Hardly have they covered ten to fifteen steps, one of the smaller girls slipped and fell down, due to bruises and pain she started crying. When other seven girls heard this sound, stopped running, stood for a while and turned back, they all ran back to the place where the girl fell down. One among them bent, picked and kissed the girl gently and enquired 'Now pain must have reduced'. All seven girls lifted the fallen girl, pacified her, two of them held the girl firmly and they all seven joined hands together and walked together and reached the winning post. Officials were shocked. Clapping of thousands of spectators filled the stadium. Many eyes were filled with tears and perhaps it had reached the GOD even! YES. This happened in Hyderabad [ INDIA ], recently ! The sport was cond

(J) Kidnapped

A Sardarji who was down on his luck decided to make some money by kidnapping a kid and holding him to ransom. He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, dragged him behind a tree and told him, "I've kidnapped you." The Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put Rs 2 lakhs in a paper bag and put the paper bag beneath the mango tree on the north side of the city playground". Signed - A Sardarji. The Sardarji then pinned the note onto the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough, a paper bag had been placed beneath the mango tree. The boy was sitting next to the bag. The Sardarji eagerly opened up the bag and found the Rs 2 lakhs in cash with a note that said: "How can one Sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji? Take the money, and please let my son go!" Signed - Another Sardarji.

Poor guys out there

Note to all: I found this mail across the web and thought it was really amusing. I'd just like to tell everyone that girls aren't like this, and this is a common misconception made by guys who are insecure! -- Nikhita ******** Girls' relationship with guys is a bigger mystery than girls themselves. It's not just about boyfriends, we're talking about guy friends that gals have. Do you have a gal who is just a friend? Are confused why the frequency of calls increases as exams loom closer? Or why she always hangs around with the moron who isn't fit to wear Jeetendra's white shoes? Here's a ready reckoner for you: ******** % just a friend % Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, "Oh Rahul, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??" Rahul: "Where are you going Shilpa??" Shilpa: "None of your business" and bangs the

(J) Obsessions

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, Mary , he said, "you are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second mom, Ann and said, "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." He then turned to the third mom, Joyce and said. "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy." At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy , quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "come on, Dick, we're leaving."

Teaser - Test for Idiocy

Test for Idiocy Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately . OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are.... Ready? GO!!! First Question: Y ou are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? _______________________________________ Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutel! y wrong! If you overtake the second person, you take his place, so you are second! Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first one, OK ? Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...? _______________________________________ Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person? You're not very good at this, are you? Third Question: Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be

Humanity

A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. "Your son is here," she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened. Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement. The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed.All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward,holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength.Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile. He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the crie

(J) Husbands for sale

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. ... You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. . On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord. ********* The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids. ********* The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking. " Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. ********* She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4

(J) Letter

Father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the etter with trembling hands:- Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway,42 isn't so old these days is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand

(J) Divorce

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce." The wife says nothing, Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph. The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it," He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, And she's a far better lover than you are." Again the wife stays quiet, But grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55 He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.. Up to 60. "I want the car, too," he continues. 65 mph. "And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!" The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This make

(J) Light Bulb

A man wanted a few days off work, but he knew his boss wouldn't allow him leave. So he decided on a novel way to get what he wanted. When his co-worker walked into the office the next morning, she found the man hanging upside down from the ceiling, making funny buzzing noises. Co-worker: "What are you doing?" Man: "I'm pretending to be a light bulb so the boss will think I'm losing it and give me a few days off." Before the co-worker could reply, the boss walked in. Boss: "What are you doing?" Man (buzzing): "I'm a light bulb." Boss: "You're clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days." The man jumped down and walked out of the office. At once, his co-worker picked up her bag and began to follow him out. Boss: "And where do you think you're going?" Co-worker: "I'm going home too. I can't work in the dark."

Things that make you smile

Think about each, one at a time, BEFORE going on to the next one... YOU WILL FEEL GOOD, especially the thought at the end. I've picked up my favourite ones :P ********************************************* Laughing so hard your face hurts No lines at the supermarket Getting mail that you were waiting for.. Taking a drive on a pretty road Hearing your favorite song on the radio Lying in bed listening to the rain outside Falling in love A bubble bath A good conversation Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter Laughing at yourself Running through sprinklers Laughing for absolutely no reason at all Laughing at an inside joke Friends. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you Playing with a new puppy Having someone play with your hair Sweet dreams Hot chocolate Road trips with friends Holding hands with someone you care about Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change Watching the expression on someone's fac

(J) Think Logical!

There were two nuns.. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for The past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do? SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster. SM: It's not working. SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives. SM: S

(J) Who's in Charge?

The Body Who's in Charge? All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who the one in charge was. "I should be in charge," said the brain, "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen". "I should be in charge," said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs , "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "because I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the rectum , "Because I'm responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the

(J) If men got pregnant!

*IF MEN GOT PREGNANT* 1. Maternity leave would last two years.. with full pay. 2. There would be a cure for stretch marks. 3. Natural childbirth would become obsolete. 4. Morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem. 5. All methods of birth control would be 100% effective. 6. Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained. 7. Men would be eager to talk about commitment. 8. They wouldn't think twins were so cute. 9. Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00 PM. 10. Briefcases would be used as diaper bags. 11. Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes. 12. They'd stay in bed during the entire pregnancy. 13. Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entrees. 14. Women would rule the world!!

(J) Don't ever laugh at a Sardar again!

1) How long was the 100 yr war? A) 116 B) 99 C) 100 D) 150 Sardar says "I will skip this" 2) In which country are the Panama hats made? A) BRASIL B) CHILE C) PANAMA D) EQUADOR Sardar asks for help from the University students 3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution? A) JANUARY B) SEPTEMBER C) OCTOBER D) NOVEMBER Sardar asks for help from general public 4) Which of these was King George VI first name? A) EDER B) ALBERT C) GEORGE D) MANOEL Sardar asks for lucky cards 5) The Canary Islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal: A) CANARYBIRD B) KANGAROO C) PUPPY D) RAT Sardar gives up. If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at our Sardar's replies, Then please check the answers below: 1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453 2) The Panama hat is made in Equador 3) The October revolution is celebrated in November 4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name. 5) Puppy. T

(J) Gabbar's maths skills!

Gabbar Kitne admi the? Sambha Sardar, do. Gabba r Mujhe ginti nahin aati, do kitne hote hain? Samba Sardar do ek ke baad aata hai. Gabbar Aur do ke pehle? Samba Do ke pehle ek aata hai. Gabbar To beech mein kaun aata hai? Samba Beech mein koi nahi aata. Gabbar To phir dono ek saath kyun nahin aate? Samba Sardar, ek ke baad hi do aa sakta hai, kyun ki do ek se bada hai. Gabbar Do ek se kitna bada hai? Samba Do ek se ek bada hai. Gabbar Agar do ek se ek bada hai to ek ek se kitna bada hai? Samba Sardar maine aapka namak khaya hai, mujhe goli maar do.

(J) Whisper

Once there was a liitle boy in church. He had to go to the bathroom so he told his mother, ''Mommy, I have to piss.'' The mother said, ''Son don't say piss in church. Next time you have to piss, say, 'whisper' because it is more polite. The next Sunday, the litle boy was sitting by his father this time, and once again, he had to go to the bathroom. He told his father, ''Daddy I have to whisper.'' The father said, ''OK. Here, whisper in my ear.''

(J) Old Mrs. Watkins // extra view

I don't know if you've come across this joke. If yes, read it once more thinking that it's a true event. --------------------------------------------- Old Mrs. Watkins awoke one spring morning to find that the river had flooded the entire first floor of her house. Looking out of her window, she saw that the water was still rising. Two men passing by in a rowboat shouted up an invitation to row to safety with them. "No, thank you," Mrs. Watkins replied. "The Lord will provide." The men shrugged and rowed on. By evening, the water level forced Mrs. Watkins to climb on top of the roof for safety. She was spotted by a man in a motorboat, who offered to pick her up. "Don't trouble yourself," she told him. "The Lord will provide." Pretty soon, Mrs. Watkins had to seek refuge atop the chimney. When a Red Cross cutter came by on patrol, she waved it on, shouting, "The Lord will provide." So the boat left, the water rose, and

10 Ways to Annoy Cops

10 Ways to Annoy Cops 1. Say, "Damn, officer, you must have been going fast to keep up with me!" 2. When he approaches you, stare at his gut and say, "Hmmm. I thought cops had to be physically fit." 3. Sway and ask if his bulletproof vest protects him from projectile vomiting. 4. Lie on the ground and ask him to draw your outline in chalk. 5. Throw his nightstick and tell the police dog to fetch it. 6. Ask him if you can use his pepper spray to spice up your pizza. 7. Tell him you wanted to be a cop, but decided to graduate high school instead. 8. When he asks you to walk the line, breakedance instead. 9. Instead of pleading the 5th amendment, plead the 13th or 16th. 10. When he asks for your license, say, "Oh sure, officer, can you hold my beer for a sec?"

(J) Shop

MAN: I'd like to buy some dog food. CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a dog? MAN: Yes. CHECKOUT LADY: Where is he? MAN: He's at home. CHECKOUT LADY: I'm sorry, I can't sell this dog food to you unless I see the dog. Store policy. The next day, the man returns. MAN: I'd like to buy some cat food. CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a cat? MAN: Yes. CHECKOUT LADY: Well...where is he? MAN: He's at home! CHECKOUT LADY: Sorry, I can't sell this cat food to you unless I see your cat. The next day the man returns. CHECKOUT LADY: What's in the sack? MAN: Put your hand inside. CHECKOUT LADY: Hmmm...It's warm and moist! What is it? MAN: I would like to buy some toilet paper.

(J) 8 monkeys

This is based on an actual experiment conducted in U.K.) *They put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of the room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas hanging from a hook on the ceiling.* ** *Each time a monkey tries to climb the ladder, all the monkeys are sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable.* ** *Soon enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys, not wanting to be sprayed, set upon him and beat him up. Soon, none of the eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder.* ** *One of the original monkeys is then removed, and a new monkey is put in the room. Seeing the bananas and the ladder, he wonders why none of the other monkeys are doing the obvious. But undaunted, he immediately begins to climb the ladder.* ** *All the other monkeys fall upon him and beat him silly. He has no idea why. However, he no longer attempts to climb the ladder.* ** *A second original monkey is removed and replaced. The newcomer again attempts to c