Coconut Cruncher

Larry feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response." That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?" No response.. So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?" Still no response. Next he moves into the dini

29th Dec '11 "You're waiting for a train.. A train - that will take you far away.. You know where you hope this train will take you, but you can't know for sure.." We discuss a lot of things with our friends, our families.. What we hear from each other and the experiences we share creates an impression upon us. We hear stories, stories that sometimes entertain us, surprise us, make us laugh or cry, or feel for a character. Some generate phobias, and some instill courage in our hearts. Stories that make us think of a 'what if'. 'What if I was in that position? What if I had to make that decision? What if I had a few months to live?' Stories define us, and change the way we percieve the world, and of-course, life, as we know it. When I think back about the choices I've made, and the friends I have, I feel glad. I saw a short on child abuse, and I felt grateful for great parents. I heard a story of two people who didn'

25th Dec '11 Merry Christmas to all!!! Here in India we don't celebrate much of Christmas - unless we're christian! Being Goan does has its advantages of being part of this festival. Goa is paradise in December. It's lit, people are jolly and exchanging cakes, Bebinka, Dodol and chocolates. You see Christmas trees and cribs around you and the churches have the traditional Konkani midnight mass. Although I didn't do much this Christmas, I think it may have just been the best 2 days of Christmas I've ever celebrated. My family got together and me and my cousins made it through an impromptu plan of Shaami(my elder cousin bro - Abhinav)'s reckless driving (he's gonna kill me if he reads this), a match of beach Frisbee, swimming at Shivani-Soham's place, Rummikub and Pictionary (with Dhanu's innovate drawing skills), ghost stories at the terrace, and more swimming and eating at my place. So much that my body's been ACHING! :'( BUT here's

2:58 PM 27/11/2011 Well that's the time. I'm gonna try working as long as I can with the help on the skinning tutorial. I'm starting afresh and deleting all the skinning I've done previously. Enough wastage of time, there are exactly 10 days for my jury and I want to be ready with everything. I have a bottle of water and chips to last me for the next 2 hours atLEAST. And my time starts... NOW!

In one day a human being breathes oxygen equivalent to three cylinders. Each oxygen cylinder on an average costs Rs 700, so in a day one uses Oxygen worth Rs 2100 and for a full year it is Rs 7,66,500. If we consider an average life span of 65 years; the costs of oxygen we use become a staggering sum of Rs 500,00,000. All this oxygen is derived free of cost from the surrounding trees. Very few people look at trees as a resource and there is rampant tree cutting going on everywhere which should stop. PLEASE PLANT A TREE!

01:58 17-10-2011 Well it's really been a long time since I made a journal entry. Today was a sunday. In a few days we'll be leaving for Chitrakatha and hopefully its gonna be an unforgettable journey. Maya has been going on forever and I have been in distress with the animation. So much, that I actually had to talk about it to Chandan sir, who told me that if I really truly wanted to practice pre-prod I'd have to work on it side by side, and that the indian industry doesn't NEED amateurs in the field. What they need now is animators, 2D or 3D, and the edge I have over the rest is my 2D base. Today started out with the mess breakfast. Ate aloo paratha and chocos. Managed to finish my entire tray. I love Sunday breakfast. Went to coll, was watching Grey's Anatomy, playing the addictive fb game called Adventure World. It's pretty, love the graphics. Today was the "Shuffle" pre-quasar event. I really missed it. If I'd been better I'd go - or so I&#

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories. The first story is about connecting the dots. I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out? It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night aski

President Faust, members of the Harvard Corporation and the Board of Overseers, members of the faculty, proud parents, and, above all, graduates. The first thing I would like to say is ‘thank you.’ Not only has Harvard given me an extraordinary honour, but the weeks of fear and nausea I have endured at the thought of giving this commencement address have made me lose weight. A win-win situation! Now all I have to do is take deep breaths, squint at the red banners and convince myself that I am at the world’s largest Gryffindor reunion. Delivering a commencement address is a great responsibility; or so I thought until I cast my mind back to my own graduation. The commencement speaker that day was the distinguished British philosopher Baroness Mary Warnock. Reflecting on her speech has helped me enormously in writing this one, because it turns out that I can’t remember a single word she said. This liberating discovery enables me to proceed without any fear that I might inadvertently influ

Super tiring day. Woke up. Gym. Breakfast at the mess. Ran to college, the juniors who're publicizing HiVE kept calling to ask me if they can put up the poster, and so did Ishan for film club. So I ran to Dean for permission to print it. He says he wants to see the HiVE. I had a few changes to be made and then when I went up to make them I realised the file was overwritten and I'd have to do it again all over. HELL. Why did this have to happen? So I started all over and Brat came to help me. Met Ogale on the way who suggested sending the HiVE to Kyoorius to print it. Agreed. Ran to the class, showed Ishan the poster, put it up. Ran to lab, finished HiVE, took a print out and went to show it to the dean. He left. Showed it to Vinayak and luckily he signed it! Thank-god. He even read a few pages and laughed! :D Finally we went to the printer to print them but the paper got over. :| So the printing's postponed for tomorrow, by which time the juniors will finish putting up the

8:07 PM 9/20/2011 What wonderful art. The art of ratatouille will make you wanna watch the movie ten times over and totally fall in love with the characters all over again. Remy, Emile his brother, Linguini and the wonderful Collete, Skinner the villainous chef, all designed the contrast each other so beautifully. The interiors of a sewage systemn (underground Paris) so wonderfully contrasts the world above. Paris is shown as magnificent as in travel books and for real; so much, that it shows you how Remy dreams of living in Gusteau's kitchen without threatening his life. Designs which express the complexity of the character and the conflicts he faces are depicted so clearly and beautifully, keeping in mind that the audience should relate to this rat, and not get disgusted by the idea of it being in a kitchen of a restaurant. Remy has to hide the one thing he loves - cooking. It's amazing how similar cooking is to design. The tastes, the smells, colors and textures are like col

Grey's Anatomy - season 5 episode 13, Stairway to heaven, I think its one of the best episodes yet. I didn't like izzie's story at all. Thought it was crap. But the rest of the storyline was crazy. Bailey almost losing her medical license for a boy who needs new organs, Sloan finding a decent girl, Torres moves on, and the best story - grey attending the execution of a serial killer patient. After that I finally started liking her, and I understood her. I love how Derek handles his professional and private life and I loved how Christina was there for her after that huge fight of theirs. Epic. Overall it forces humanity inside you. So I guess I'm writing this as a review. I had to. Maybe one of my first voluntary reviews. Chao.

This is another example of an amazing illusion!!! The last sentence is so true.If your eyes follow the movement of the rotating pink dot, the dots will remain only one colour, pink. However if you stare at the black ' +' in the centre, the moving dot turns to green. Now, concentrate on the black ' + ' in the centre of the picture. After a short period, all the pink dots will slowly disappear, and you will only see only a single green dot rotating. It's amazing how our brain works. There really is no green dot, and the pink ones really don't disappear. This should be proof enough, we don't always see what we think we see.

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough." "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns t

Firstly, let me make it clear that this article is not written by me. It is clear, concise, and well written. I was going to write on the same lines, but this said it all, and way better that I can. Please give it your time and attention, even if you're against the bill. - - - " A battle we must not lose " - Pritish Nandy Forget Anna Hazare. The Jan Lokpal movement can go to hell for all I care. Let us just look at the issues over which the battle between the Government and us citizens is being fought. And then let’s decide where we want to stand, each one of us, on the issue of corruption. The first question is: Do corruption and bribery hurt you? If they do, do you want a solution? If your answer is yes to both, do you think such a solution lies with an independent authority? Or do you think a corrupt Government can fight corruption on its own, and within its own ranks? If your answer is no to that, then we need to create an independent

RICHARD WISEMAN, Feb 16, 2009, 12.00am IST Why do some people have all the luck while others never get the breaks they deserve? I set out to examine luck, 10 years ago. Why are some people always in the right place at the right time, while others consistently experience ill fortune? I placed advertisements in national newspapers asking for people who felt consistently lucky or unlucky to contact me. Hundreds of extraordinary men and women volunteered for my research and over the years, have been interviewed by me. I have monitored their lives and had them take part in experiments. The results reveal that although these people have almost no insight into the causes of their luck, their thoughts and behaviour are responsible for much of their good and bad fortune. Take the case of seemingly chance opportunities. Lucky people consistently encounter such opportunities, whereas unlucky people do not. I carried out a simple experiment to discover whether this was due to differences

An elderly lady decided to give herself a big treat for her significant birthday by staying overnight in one of London's most expensive hotels. When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for £250.00. She explode and demanded to know why the charge was so high. "It's a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth £250.00 for just an overnight stop without even breakfast." The clerk told her that £250.00 is the 'standard rate' so she insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appeared and forewarned by the desk clerk announced: "the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre which are available for use." 'But I didn't use them," she said. ''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager. He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from Edinburg

The day I reached I had a lot to think about. I had nothing much to do. I was at my aunt's place. It was a clean pretty big flat (for Mumbai) and her room was very Anita Maushi-ish. She had her comfort food and furniture, her cushions and curtains all placed. I told myself whatever would happen to me in a month would be fulfilling and I would learn a lot from my workplace and the city. That very day mum called, saying Ashok Uncle was insisting that I'd stay with him and his family. I knew I could adjust anywhere, but I somehow I wasn't sure about my comfort levels coming to normal. I didn't want Anita Maushi to take any trouble to host me either. So I agreed, swallowing in any insecurities and fears. A while later, two of my best friends called. Their place was terrible. It was in an unsafe area in Goregaon, and they had no water all morning. Their luggage was with me. They left the room and ended their contract with the broker who fleeced them at arrival like a hungry

I know It's been too long since I've been home when I see photos opf my mum wearing a new kurta that she now considers old. I know it's been long when I can't remember the last time I smelled that goan fresh monsoon smell. The scent of wet mud and sparkley green nature that's been washed after a year. I know it's been long when I can taste fish curry rice with the faintest smell of a curry leaf. I guess it's really been long.

It's not often with most people that they have a talk with a stranger and leave with a smile. Well for me it happens pretty often. Especially when I'm in the worst of moods. I have no evil intentions to get an off on things I purchase, or to just get my design approved. Today was one of those days. The best strangers to talk to are those kind of people who have nothing in common with you. Those who live different lives. I almost lost consciousness in a overcrowded bus today. There were mean with sweaty underarms and the woman on the left gave me a scowl everytime my laptop bag brushed her arm. The woman who was seated in front of me gave me dirts as I almost fell on her. It was all coming to a climax, and I was literally testing myself. Bile ran up towards my throat and I struggled to get the window's air that was hogged by the two seated passengers. I was claustrophobic now, and my motion sickness was getting the better of me. To top all of this, the bus halted for ten min

Still trying to figure o9ut my routes. I amost got them right today, except the frequency of buses is SAD. And this place is pretty far I guess. From the railway route, which makes the distance four times longer. Blech, why four? I just liked the number. Got puky in the bus. it took a whole 70 minutes. BLECH!!!!

Jury tomorrow!!! Getting quicker with things. Kick starting my day, shoving away all the negative vibes. Spent the morning with Devaunshi looking for places. Its next to impossible. Anyway. Guess I'll end up stayin with Anita Maushi. Thats all.

Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship. "Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people. "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did. "Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing." And they did. "Now we eat everybody." And they did. When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?" His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the shit inside!"

Friends, Today I learnt a new phrase from The Times of India: VEXATIOUS LITIGANT. The news item on the front page reads: "A lawyer who dragged his estranged wife ... to court in a record 115 cases has been stopped in his tracks. The HC admitted the petition ... by Maharashtra advocate general Ravi Kadam to declare Kazi a vexatious litigant." (Kazi is that lawyer fellow who has been filing 115 petitions against his wife.) I want to use this phrase. I declare Sir Vinod, Sir S Halagiri, and Sir Hemant as VEXATIOUS LITIGANTSÂ against Allopathy. And I declare Sir Arun a VEXATIOUS LITIGANTÂ against sanity in general. Cheers Sanjiv Dear Sir Bhatla, Thank you for awarding me this honorary degree (V.L.). Does it also come with a cash prize? It is not easy fighting this Goliath called Allopathy that milks all Americans (even healthy ones via taxes) to the tune of over two trillion dollars every year, most of which is worse than pure waste. My problem is that the real Mr. Allop

After so much procrastination, I have finally started with my portfolio. Who cares if my layout sucks now, I just hope they judge me by my work. :( It's so hard to pick the best and compile it all. Hoping the time invested will be worth it.

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days. A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Sarson Ka Tel?" (Mustard OIL) The clerk says "You a Sikh?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian Olive Oil, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish? The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't." The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Sarson Ka Tel, why did you say I am Sikh?" The clerk replied, "Because you're in a Liquor Store."

29th Jan 2011 12:17 am My heart thudded as I saw it lying there on the tile, alone with an empty coffee cup. Someone had left it there, and the first thught that ran through my mind was that this was my cap. It was my lens cap coz there was nothing besides it. No camera no case no person. Ravi had said I would find it back. He said he was my lucky charm. Bullocks, I had thought. I grabbed the lenscap and my face muscles pushed into a grin. My cap. I ran down the staircase, grinning to every face I passed. I removed the phone from my pocket and dialled Ravi's number. It rang thrice. I waited. Ring ring, and then Ravi answered, "hi tell me". "RAVI!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed, "I FOUND IT, I FOUND IT!!!! MY LENS CAP!" Now he must've thought, gosh, this chic, she keeps losing and finding things. He's never seen me losing things and not finding them. "Where?" he asked, and I told him my story. "Wow! You see, I told you I'm your lucky

Jo Aap Kaho Ji. Husband: aaj khane mein kya banaogi? Wife: Jo aap kaho H: Dal chawal bana lo W: Abhi kal hi to khaye the H: to sabji roti bana lo W: bacche nahi khayenge H: to chhole puri bana lo W: mujhe bahut heavy lagta hai H: eggs bhurji bana lo W: aaj guruvaar hai H: paraanthe ? W: raat ko paraanthe kaun khata hai?? H: Hotel se mangwa lete hain? W: roz roz hotel ka nahi khana chahiye H: kadhi chawal? W: dahi nahi hai H: idly sambar? W: usme time lagega. pehle bolna chahiye tha na!! H: maggi hi bana lo, usme time nahi lagega W: woh koi meal thodi hai? Pet nahi bharta H: phir ab kya banaogi? W: Jo aap kaho

“Bad Luck” – screened back to back. Chapter 1: Losing It was a fine day, because it was a holiday. M.I.T Institute of Design had a bunch of crazy people who kept screening the best movies of all time, and this very day, they would screen the legendary – Star Wars. An empty pocketed girl named Nikhita limped (as fast as she could) to the projector room where the movie was to be screened. She hadn’t seen it before, and her friends Alok and Ravi had promised it would be worth the watch. The previous day her friend Tanu had lifted her on his back and Bharat Singhal – an elfish friend (in behaviour and appearance) slammed her tow on the hard floor which caused it to swell in pain. So she limped to the room and there they watched the movies. In the evening Nikhita and her friend Ravi went out for Chai at the local dhaba – kaka’s, but before that, she went to the pharmacy, to buy toe-healing medicines. From her sweatshirt she pulled out 2 notes of 50 and 500. The medicines cost her 45, so she

At lohri: Anonymous: Hey get ur camera! Me: Eh. It's in the class. Anonymous: But your class is on this floor! Me: Yeah but it's locked.. Alok: So jump in through the window! Me: *bored face* Alok: You're ridiculous. In the comp lab: Ravi P: Hey where's the projector? Alok: Yeah it's in class. Ravi: Oh. Alok: It's locked man. Me: So jump in through the window! *Ravi n alok walking out of the lab* Alok: It's boring. Ravi: It's boring? you just have to jump in dude. Me: Mahahahaha!

14th Jan 2011 We stepped in and then ordered the food. Jahnvi - the local dhaba was going to shut down. As the food came, En gobbled spoons down like Puppa. I looked at him, then looked at the food. En had a peculiar way of eating his food. I was thinking, does this guy know what's going into his mouth? Does he taste it before swallowing? I could smell the bits of spring onions at shredded chicken in fried rice, the coconut from the chicken malabari, and the butter on the roti which Tanu was eating. Vicky looked miserable eating a bland veg pulao, that had no distinct smell. "What're you looking at?" En asked. "Oh nothing." I replied, realizing it was rude to stare at people eating. I looked around to notice that none of them really looked like they were tasting it. It was funny how my brain travelled through thoughts, changing in milliseconds. Well. I guess we were just hungry.

Man: "Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic." Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore." Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down." Man: "Your place or mine?" Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine." Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman: "It's in the phone book." Man: "But I don't know your name." Woman: "That's in the phone book too." Man: "So what do you do for a living?" Woman: "I'm a female impersonator." Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not Enter" Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone." Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I d