(J) The Taxman Cometh‏

At the end of the tax year, the tax office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue.

While he was checking the books he turned to the rabbi and said, 'I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?'

'Good question,' noted the rabbi. 'We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.'

'Oh,' replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer.

But on he went, in his obnoxious way. 'What about all these bread-wafer purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?'

'Ah, yes,' replied the rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question.

'We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send us a free box of bread-wafers.'

'I see,' replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all rabbi.

'Well, rabbi,' he went on, 'What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?'

'Here, too, we do not waste,' answered the rabbi. 'What we do is save all the foreskins and send them to the tax office, and about once a year they send us a complete dickhead.'

Comments

Be the change you want to see.

18th April 2016 Arvind and I recently read about the 19 year old who is solving the world’s ocean pollution crisis. Boyan Slat is a Dutch engineering student single handedly developing the gyers (floating booms and processing platforms) which would potentially clean up 20 billion tonnes of plastic from the world's oceans; the plastic which kills millions of animals and damages thousands of cargo vessels every year. Arvind stressed on the fact that he was 19 – he was exceptionally impressed by a kid who showed that much drive, determination and hard work at such a young age. For me, regardless of his age, this was so commendable. The age didn’t matter to me, infact I disagreed with Arvind, and mentioned how adults have it harder to do something for the greater good. Not only are they in a pathetic zone (they have full time jobs!), they also have responsibilities towards their families and are less imaginative and courageous than the youth since they are aware of the hindrances li

The Coconut Seller

9th November 2013 I approached the coconut seller and asked, "how much for one?" "30 for malai wala and 25 for paani wala" "Patli malai wale ke liye kitna?" "30 memsaab", he said. I asked for one with the thin malai. It was delicious. The first sip from the straw, and images of coconut trees and paddy fields flashed in my mind. Narrow roads and clear skies, palms swaying in the breeze - it cut back to the straw. The water was over. I looked inside the coconut, hoping for more water. "Kahan se laate ho aap?" I asked. "Mysore se. Yaha toh koi nikaalta nahin hai pedh se. Pakh jaate hain." he said. "Aur aap kaha se ho?" "Main Allahabad se" he said, smiling. "Itni door se? Poori family yaha hai?" "Haan ji. Ek flat tha, lekin usme jagaha nahin thi, toh hum bhaade pe reh rahe hain." he said, "aap kaha se ho?" "Main Goa se hoon" I said. He smiled. "Toh a

Messed up 48 hours.

28th June 2013 So I've had a terrible 3 days here. I realised my Sc. 5 was accidentally missing from my Film Folder, and when it hit me that my last backup was a March backup that had 2 months of work done after that, I was feeling absolutely broken-hearted. I didn't know if it was worth continuing this film. I was drowning in sorrow at the thought of having to do all that work again. I googled it, got a few recovery softwares that mostly hung and some showed some files I wasn't looking for. I called a good friend who suggested two good data-recovery softwares. 'Wondershare', the best one I'd tried took 12 hours to scan my PC for all the files that were deleted from my Recycle bin. It didn't have it. At 3 am I decided to give up. It was gone. I tried to get over it and move on as quickly as possible. I could not afford to give up now. It would be like dropping out of college in your final year. I was on the verge of finishing the film, and would probabl

Coconut Cruncher

Search This Blog